Dear Eniola

Dear Eniola,
I must congratulate you on making it to this landmark age. While the abundance of God’s grace upon us makes it easy to take things like this lightly, I am not unaware of many people, better beings who have gone down below. Several others have had their lives gone south at very tender ages. I appreciate God for keeping you; body, spirit and soul. I am proud of your progress over the years and I really appreciate God for your yesterday, today and the frabjous tomorrow.

I have some words to tell you is why I am writing this to you on your birthday. This might look awkward, me being a man who doesn’t like to advise people. Don’t feel strange to see this because I am in a perfect position to guide you through the maze of life. Except for the gender specific bus stops, I have travelled this journey you’re on with the same father, same mother and only slightly different circumstances. I also have the advantage of being the first fruit of your parents. I was old enough to ask for my mother the morning she wasn’t around to cook breakfast because she had gone to the hospital to deliver you. I remember thinking how my mother’s tummy would be torn because of a new baby. I am especially happy because the baby of that day is now grown and has given her life to Christ. The only way to a proper life here and a glorious life in the hereafter is through Christ Jesus and I am happy you’re towing that path. May you never lose your salvation.

I have seen how hungry you are for knowledge. Keep this up and be hungry for knowledge. Christianity is not a call to mediocrity, it is a call to hard work and consistency. I have often seen you and many Christian Girls talk about the Proverbs 31 woman as your aspiration. Yes, she is the perfect woman, she does her husband good and all but have you read about the daughters of Zelophehad? The judge Deborah? Jael? You should embrace aspects of the lives of these amazing Bible women too.

I have often seen people misquote the Bible to prove that God is partriachal. Don’t fall for this and think of yourself as an appendage of any man. You’re not an afterthought. Genesis 1:27 which details the creation of man on the sixth day says:
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them."
Do not behave as if your life belongs to any man and the ultimate purpose is for you to end up as someone’s wife. Marriage is beautiful and when the time comes, myself and daddy will hand you to a king who deserves you. Pending that time, I’ll make sure you’re made a king on your own. I don’t want you to become a queen, I want you as a King Lady who rules her own empire. I don’t trust the world to train her children enough to treat you well so I’m going to raise you as a shield, a spear and as fire.

One of the biggest problems confronting young people is impatience, my dear, you need to be very patient. Do the right things at the right times. Now is time for you to focus on educating yourself. Real wealth is knowledge, it is an asset. In all thy getting, get it. Defer gratification and build a life now. The scarcity of today will soon become surplus.

You owe no man any apology for how you live your life, as long as you’re cool with the Holy Spirit. Uncle Abel used to tell me 'Ayo, you can’t have it all. I’ll transfer that same wisdom to you and tell you to brace yourself for many years of disappointments, pain and occasional busts of sadness in your journey through life. Be ready to move on easily. Pain is loyal when you create a relationship with it, don’t let it become your partner. It has the tendency to replace God when it is allowed. It will always prove its loyalty by standing with you to sink you low.

Style is not a sin, dress well and don’t let anyone shame you for what you wear or your body. You’re fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beyond how you look or what you wear. You are too deep for anyone to see with the ordinary eyes. Be the woman who transcends physicality.

Your destiny doesn't condone mediocrity, you can't afford to be ordinary. Always strive to break new grounds and go the extra mile. On the extra mile, there are no traffic jams and once you get your footing on that lane, you'll have fun all the way. Live your life intentionally, don't let life happen to you. You can dream like any man and your dreams are valid. Above all, know that our have a brother who is crazy about you and will always support you.

Maybe all these scares you already, don’t let it. Live your life one day at a time without forgetting the ultimate goal of making heaven. Maybe the goals I have set are big, just do it. Don’t let anyone, yourself included place any embarrassing​ moral authority on you. Our culture has a way of making people feel pressured. Resist the spirit that tells you you're your mother's only daughter and do things as the unique being that you are. In the end, whatever decisions you make is between you and God Almighty.

Now maybe I won't have the chance to write you any letters again but let it be recorded that I gave you guidance and shared my thoughts with you on your way to purpose. My desire is to see you come out better than me but I desire even more that your story of becoming be an interesting one. Once again, May God's countenance shine on you and may you grow in grace. Happy 'Coming of Age'. Much Love. 💜💜💜

Your ever unpleasable critic, Ayodele.